If you’ve just broken up with someone, you probably don’t feel like doing anything except curling up in a ball and crying. And that’s okay! But there are several other things that you can do after a breakup that will help you process what’s happened in a healthy way, start to heal, and eventually move on. Check them out below.
Let yourself be sad.
We hate breakups. Losing someone important to you can be devastating so let yourself feel sad. Don’t be angry at yourself for not being able to get out of bed or not being cheerful. And ignore anyone who pressures you to get over it and be happy. You have to allow yourself to grieve the relationship. That will probably involve lots of crying, staying in for a while, and moping around. That’s totally fine.
Lean on your support network.
Hopefully, you’ve got a network of people there to support you during hard times. So let them be there for you. If they offer to visit you, cook for you, or do anything else, take them up on that offer. The bottom line is breakups are awful and you shouldn’t have to go through them alone.
Take a break from dating.
It can be tempting to jump right back into the dating game after a breakup. But if you start dating again before you’re really over your ex, or before you’ve really healed, it will likely lead to more problems. You’ll just transfer all the baggage from your breakup onto a new person, which isn’t really fair. Bringing in someone new to replace the person you lost is kind of like putting on a Band-Aid. It might heal your sadness for a while, but unless you properly deal with it, the cracks will soon start to show.
Consider cutting off contact.
Many relationship experts recommend completely cutting off contact with your ex after a breakup. That’s because when you’re trying to get over someone, it’s very difficult to do if they’re still hanging around in your life. It’s also not fair on you to have to continue to provide emotional support for them, even if they’re not taking the breakup well. Therefore, you should consider cutting off all contact, including blocking their number and unfollowing or muting them on social media.
Remove any reminders.
Reminders of your ex are the last thing you need after a breakup. Get rid of photos, gifts, clothes, and anything else that reminds you of them. With sentimental or expensive items, you don’t have to throw them away completely. Try asking a friend to look after them for you until you’re ready to look at them again or put them out of sight. If you really can’t let go, you could pack away the reminders in an attic or storage unit.
Cleanse your social media.
Along with unfollowing your ex on social media, you should consider doing a complete digital cleanse. Remove anything or anyone that makes you feel like crap. That might be your ex’s friends and family, or any page that’s toxic and unhelpful.
Be gentle with yourself.
You have to be especially kind and gentle with yourself after a breakup. Take time out to be sad and start to heal. Pamper yourself and spend some time doing things that you love to do. This is important because you might need a reminder that life is full of amazing things, even without your ex. It will also reinforce that you can love yourself, so you don’t have to rely on the love of anyone else.
Listen to music.
Music can have a major effect on our moods. So listening to music post-breakup can be very therapeutic and help you process all the emotions you’re going through. The kind of music you listen to is up to you. If you’re sad and need to get all the sad emotions out, listen to sad love songs. If you’re ready to start picking yourself up again, opt for some Lizzo.
Look after your health.
Part of being kind and gentle with yourself is looking after your physical health. Again, this will remind you that deserve to be looked after and respected. Get out there and exercise. It’s okay to eat comfort foods, but also make room for nutritious dishes that will leave your body feeling great. And remember to drink plenty of water!
Make joy a priority.
The period after a breakup is usually dominated by sadness. So you have to make joy a priority in your life again. This isn’t in the days immediately after, when you’re letting yourself feel sad. This is later, when you’re ready to start healing and moving on. Find something that makes you happy and make time for it every day. It might be playing with your cat, walking along the beach, painting, or anything else.
Talk to someone.
As you try to process the breakup, what went wrong, and what lessons you can learn, it can help to talk to someone. A friend who’s willing to listen and give advice can be a great option, as can a licensed therapist. Talking to a therapist is a particularly good idea if the breakup has left you with any mental health struggles or the relationship caused any trauma for you. It’s important to be able to get your feelings off your chest and get an outsider’s perspective on things.
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